Things have been a little tricky of late, or should I say my mind has been a little tricky of late! It occurred to me, late one night (as these things do) that I’d lost sight of that what was genuine and authentic to me.
I’ve now realised I was concentrating more on my goal of finishing my book and becoming an author rather than my journey getting there.
My genuine wish to help people live a less toxic life had become diluted by a need to be ‘followed’, ‘liked’, and ‘shared’ on social networking sites and my need to see the word count on my book going up, even if the quality and meaning of the message was going down.
I started to get increasingly frustrated and feel out of sorts with the whole idea of writing. The book was becoming a struggle and I kept making excuses not to do any work on it. But then something happened…
I happened upon the movie (or perhaps it was synchronicity and her little games again) ‘The Shift’ by Wayne Dyer. Within 5 minutes I was completely transfixed on the movie. I could tell where it was going and what would happen, but that didn’t matter. I became completely absorbed by it, it really sang to me and I could feel my authentic self jumping to attention and welcoming me back.
I saw that I’d lost my way, plain and simple. I realised that all this platform-building, self-pressure and self-criticism just wasn’t working within my own values. I’d lost the authentic me, but now I could see clearly again and my head was beginning to buzz with values, dreams, ideas, plans, changes and love for my journey once more.
Nothing had really changed in the greater scheme of things. I’d just listened to myself again, stopped creating negative barriers, given up the internal fight, and remembered why I started along this path. All this from one movie, at the right time and hitting the right notes made one large and much needed shift happen within me!
I am genuinely looking forward to putting finger to keyboard now and am positive I shall be losing myself in the creative process of writing my book again. I have underlined my values, will enjoy the journey and stay authentic to myself and why I started this process and if I start to lose sight of the path again I will remember this lesson and re-assess if what I am doing is authentic to me and if not, why not and how will I change it so it is!
If you’re struggling with anything at the moment, maybe you should take a minute to decide if what you’re doing feels genuine to your values, hopes and beliefs and if not then ask yourself what you can do to change it. Things will become easier, you won’t be fighting against your inner self and you’ll enjoy the process again.
Note to self: Remember this lesson! =)